41 posts tagged “two thumbs”
Now I know some people might disagree but I couldn't help but think of Ultraviolet while watching this. A lot of people didn't like Ultraviolet but they are all wrong. Ultraviolet was awesome and my man Kurt Wimmer could have made this flashlight fight scene look totally bad ass. I'm reminded of the fight scene in Equilibrium that was in total darkness and only lit by gun mussel flashes.
Regardless, the male lead Rain does a pretty decent job. He isn't the best actor in the world or anything but he's entertaining and seems to be doing most of the fighting himself (even if there are times when it seems pretty clear that the chain he's swinging around is computer generated). The whole time I couldn't help but think of his rivalry with Stephen Colbert.Unfortunately, huge chunks of the film are taken up with flashbacks to the character's upbringing by the ninjas. This means that other actors are playing the role besides Rain and they are your typical crappy kid actors.
The film isn't terrible but it could have been much better.
two thumbs up
Oh silly ninjas
Why is your director bad?
Go get my man Kurt.
It is pretty entertaining if a bit slow. The mushroom people are actually pretty underplayed. I wish there would have been more of them in the film. As it is, the film is more about the people and how they deal with being shipwrecked and facing starvation. The problem is that none of the people are particularly likable. It is more soap operatic than it needs to be. There are people turning against one another, and people stealing food, but all the while you are just waiting for the mushroom people to show up.
One thing about it that is interesting is the framing device that is used to tell the story. It is really quite noir in tone. It reminded me of Sunset Boulevard in tone. I've seen a number of black and white Japanese monster films and this is teh first one I can recall drawing on the noir tradition in such a direct fashion.
two thumbs up
He's quite a fungi
Oh what a punster I am
I'm such a fun guy...
One thing you can say about Terminator 4 is that it is better than Terminator 3. Barely.
Some people have complained about the scene where an enormous loud and rather slow machine sneaks up on a group of people but in my opinion that is like complaining that someone didn't make their bed when a tornado has torn down the entire house. There's a million ways that the giant machine could have snuck up on them. -- Christian Bale yelled all the time when attacking the machines but does that mean that he isn't able to sneak up on them?
Most of the main problems in the film all revolve around the fact that the people in the movie are dumb and inconsistently dumb at that. For example, we have a character Marcus who shows up knowing nothing about the Terminators and starts asking lots of questions. The guy he asks notes that although he is wearing the arm band of a rebel that Marcus isn't one and so should take it off. However, the guy never stops to ask Marcus, "Why don't you know what is going on?" or any questions about why Marcus is so behind on current events like the destruction of all the cities in the world.
OK, so the guy Marcus runs into just isn't very inquisitive. Next Marcus runs into someone who is a rebel. Still wearing the rebel arm band Marcus ask some more questions and the woman is just like, "come with me I'll take you to John Connor, the savior of humanity" and not wondering -- like the previous guy who doesn't have nearly as much experience as this woman presumably does -- why this guy in rebel clothes doesn't know anything about the war.
The film also just happens to rely on tons of coincidences. For example Marcus just happens to run into the one guy John Connor is looking for. They try to explain it by saying that it is part of some plan but the plan was for the very first person Marcus runs into to be the most important person in the world? That's a pretty impressive plan. Then the next person Marcus runs into takes him directly to Connor so that Connor can save the day. Then there's also the fact that this plan with Marcus also involves a way to kill the Terminators that just happens to happen at the same time when Marcus is running around.
Let's not even mention that Marcus takes the time to not only change clothes but also to find some different cloths to wear when there don't really seem to be any around before he goes to try to help Connor out. Or the fact that they felt like they needed to have a character explain exactly what was happening even though it was pretty clear what was happening anyway. I guess they realized that the Terminators and Skynet doesn't really talk in the movie so they added in a talking head.
Another problem is that some parts seem to have been edited and assembled by a blind person. It feels like the movie was 15 minutes too long so they just cut scenes out randomly. There are a couple spots when it just seems like maybe I ran to the bathroom and missed a short inconsequential scene that would, none-the-less explain why some people got to the someone place else and look very different as when Marcus is all beat up in one scene and then next thing he is in what basically looks like hospital scrubs, is lying on a table, and is entirely healed.
The final problem is that not only is everyone in the movie dumb but apparently so are the people that made it. In one scene a bunch of things about the size of hand grenades which we are told are nuclear-powered, explodes while a helicopter is flying overhead and the helicopter isn't hurt at all. Then there's the end. Without spoiling it, let's just say that apparently in the future you can not only perform major surgery single handed in a tent in the middle of nowhere but you don't need to worry about things like blood type or other things like that.
The original ending was leaked online and so allegedly they changed it. Hopefully they filmed it and it will be on the dvd because the way it sounds the original ending was so much better. The rumor was that John Connor was going to die and be replaced by a reprogrammed good Terminator because Connor was too important to the future of humanity to allow to die. The ending that is currently in the film is not only worse but it means that someone has to directly and methodically kill another heroic character without any discussion of the moral consequences.
Finally, the world that this film takes place in is hard to figure out. So Skynet went rogue and nuked humanity but humanity is still able to resist enough to have an organized military which includes A-10s -- which are sent to attack air targets for some reason even though they are primarily used to attack ground units like tanks and such. -- and lots of helicopters (but apparently not tanks or ground units...) which are complicated machines and require lots of maintenance to be usable. There's also some talk about how the Terminators haven't gone "this deep" before which indicates that perhaps Skynet doesn't have control over the entire USA? (Of course later on we find out that there are Terminator water snakes right outside of the military base so who knows...)
There are some good things. There are some nods to the earlier films including some lines and a gas station that looks a lot like one in T2. The Terminators look pretty cool even though the human-sized ones are often obviously guys in suits.
two thumbs up
Whyare they so dumb?
Fuck's sake, man, you're amatuer
Fucking distracting...
I liked the series for the first few seasons. I eventually quit watching it though because, something I perhaps feared way back in the beginning, nothing ever seemed to happen. I remember watching an episode, getting pissed that nothing related to the core mythology actually got resolved only to see the teaser for next week which, the voiceover promised, would answer everything! Then I’d watch next week, get pissed that nothing related to the core mythology actually got resolved only to see the teaser for next week which promised to answer everything. After so many of those I got fed up and quit watching. It was also around that time that the film came out which promised to solve everything and then didn’t. Since then I pretty much avoided watching X-Files on reruns or on the Sci-Fi channel. Over the years the creator of X-Files has gone on to do… umm…. pretty much nothing? So when I heard that there was another X-Files movie I was less than excited and pretty much saw it as Chris Carter’s last gasp for money and a career.
With this in mind I was pretty happily surprised by X-Files: I Want to Believe. Now, don’t take that to mean that I liked it or thought it was great or anything. I think that part of me was happy that it had nothing to do with the series mythology (well there was some random, unnecessary mention of his sister which seemed included only to remind viewers that after a movie and ten series nothing had been resolved yet) because then I wouldn’t be irritated by that. However, because it has nothing to do with the core mythology it really begs the question, “Why does this exist?” and nothing in the film does anything to change that nagging suspicion in the back of my head that “Ol’ Chris needs the money!”
As I see it there are really 3 storylines going on here. 1)Mulder and Scully. 2)the murders. 3)the sick kid. I'm not sure that they work together all that well or that they are needed.
For me the Mulder Scully relationship stuff was the most interesting. It was nice seeing them deal with their relationship. However, Mulder is clearly a dick. He’s deep in his problem and seems totally oblivious to Scully’s problem.
The murders didn't need really need Mulder all that much. Once they found the body parts, or even the first arm it seems like they could have got some fingerprints and the lack of communication between people with cell phones and gps and such is a bit much. (I mean when they bust into the body part business and Mulder and Amanda Peet's character go running after the Russian guy they show that Xzibit's character is wearing an earpiece so why didn't Peet's character radio them for backup?) Oh and do female FBI agents commonly forget to button their shirts as much as Peet’s character did?
The sick kid was by far the weakest. Scully is doing stem cell surgery at a Catholic hospital? I don't know about that... And she reads some stuff online and the next day she is able to do the surgery??? I'm really not sure about that...
two thumbs up
Two heads are better?
Better go ask Rosey Grier
Why this film exists?
Basically, the movie is about this future war between the normal humans and these other humans who want to basically become Borgs. Honestly, I'm not sure what the big schism between the two is because our heroine has all these cybernetic powers just like the main bad guy. So what is it that makes her a regular human and him a wanna-be Borg?
Regardless, our heroine is trying to stop the bad guys from launching a super-weapon but crash lands in the middle of a desert and the bad guy is trying to find her. Now, the super-weapon is in the middle of their city so I'm not sure why they just don't put a lot more guards on the weapon. They try to say that the bad guy is in love with her but it doesn't really make a lot of sense.
The heroine treks through the desert in a Tomb Raider-ish outfit that consists of short shorts and a midriff showing shirt with lots of guns and other stuff. While the woman is attractive the outfit doesn't really do much for her. She isn't really hot and the camera work doesn't objectify her overly much. There's no ass shots or cleavage so I'm kind of wondering why they bothered making her wear that outfit.
The most irritating thing about the movie is that there is a near-constant voice-over. Every thing is narrated. Every thing is explained for us. Apparently the creators have never heard the saying, "Show don't tell" or perhaps they misheard it and thought it was "You can show if you want but make sure you tell every little thing." The film spends a lot of time going on and on about the background of the conflict (except for the whole cyber thing) that isn't really needed. There's this whole deal about Watchers that once came and made mankind behave and gave them warp drives but then disappeared and that the Earth was destroyed and that our heroine used to be addicted to a virtual reality videogame and that she sometimes hallucinates and the Gaia hypothesis is correct and a lot of other stuff.
Now, it turns out that there is a reason why some of this crap is in the movie. After the heroine's story is over, there is another 25 minutes with her daughter. Then we learn that it is the end of the universe and the Big Crunch is about to happen and that another universe will be born. Possibly, the new universe will be just like the old one and the history of the universe will repeat itself. So the daughter of the heroine will make some kind of attempt to pass on the knowledge of what happened in the attempt to prevent it from happening all over again.
Whew. That's a lot for one movie. And it really is. Way too much. It really felt like the guy who made the film was trying to create a universe to tell multiple stories in or something. It isn't all that effective. It is pretty weird. Had it just been the Heroine in the desert trying to stop the super-weapon it would have been pretty good.
two thumbs up
What a weird movie
It needs more pumps and the bumps
As Hammer would say...
Other than that, it is fairly standard. The military base is using nuclear power to do experiments. Strange deaths start to happen and the locals blame the nuclear power. The military denies it. Turns out there is a reclusive scientist nearby who is known for researching paranormal phenomena. I wonder who is really the cause of the deaths...?
The "fiends" are pretty interesting in that they are brains with spinal columns that slither around and jump on people. I learned that if your nuclear reactor is going wild with no way to turn it off you can just blow it up without any danger radiation fallout or anything and that the best time to hook up with a woman is at her brother's funeral.
two thumbs up
Those Canadians
Why do they hate our freedom?
Let's "liberate" them
the problem is, I don't really know what the point of it is. I don't get what it is trying to be about, who our central character is, or if there is any kind of message. Basically it just follows them as they fight one another, run from the law, fall in love, have kids, get old, and get killed. I really isn't all that interesting.
One thing I did like, however, is that unlike a lot of westerns this doesn't take place in the Southwest. The James Gang was from Missouri so (whether it actually was filmed in Missouri or not I don't know) in the film there are trees and grass and hills. There is green in a western and not all brown! Crazy!
two thumbs up
The film is pretty
but not pretty good at all.
There is good killing.
The film was decent enough. I was afraid going into it that the bit of romance between Carrell and Hathaway would be a bit creepy since he is in his mid 40s and she is in her mid 20s. Luckily, however, the filmmakers must have though so too because they added in a line where Hathaway's character has had plastic surgery and says that she is older than she looks. There aren't any make out or sex scenes or anything so it isn't all that bad.
The main problem with the film is that it isn't funny. It has some minor limited humor but for long stretches it is just a straight forward spy movie. It is entertaining enough as that but Get Smart is supposed to be fun. Carrell and Hathaway are both charming enough so they almost carry it off but not quite.
two thumbs up
Next time more jokes please
So it is entertaining
But just not funny
I think the film can sort of be described as a more leisurely 28 Days Later or perhaps a quieter version of Spielberg's War of the Worlds. In all three the situations are pretty much the same: bad things are happening and everyone needs to get out of the city. The reasons are different but the effect is the same and especially in the case of 28 Days Later there is the feeling that anyone around you could turn and become a victim of this without warning.
The title is pretty bad. I don't know about anyone else but when I hear about a "happening, if think about a happening. If it had been called "the event" or something like that, it would be a lot less awkward.
In the commercials they made a big deal about this being "M. Night Shymalan's first R-rated film!" I have to tell you, this has to be the tamest, least gory or sexy R-rated movie ever. If someone says that they begged the MPAA to give it an R rather than a PG-13 I wouldn't be surprised. Sure there is some blood but that is minimal and frequently at a distance. Like pretty much every other M. Night film the people are all but asexual so there's nothing sexy. I don't even remember if there was any cursing.
The problem with the film is that as I said in my comparison to 28 Days Later and War of the Worlds, it is all rather leisurely and quiet (like M. Night's other films). There's never really any sense that any one we care about is in danger. One secondary character dies but it is pretty much a foregone conclusion that the character will die once separated from the group. That character might as well have said, "I'll be right back" and made the horror movie cliche complete. Never do we really feel like any of the main characters are in danger. Moreover, whenever anyone starts to act weird, no one else tries to do anything to stop the person. They just stand there all scarred. After the news had talked all about this going on wouldn't you at least try to stop them? It isn't as if this is a poison. If you tied them up they wouldn't be able to hurt themselves or anything. I suppose that a lack of control is supposed to be where the fear is with people losing control of their inhibitions, unable to control it, and even unable to control where and how they travel because the train stopped and they have no car.
Another big problem is M. Night Shymalan's dialog. He really should have someone take a quick pass at the script and revise the wordings of some things. For example, John Leguizamo says that his wife is in Princeton but he doesn't just say "Princeton." He says "the town of Princeton." Now, I live in the midwest but even I have heard of Princeton. Another example is Zooey Deschanel's character. At lesat two times she says something about "not liking to show her emotions." But what does she do the whole time? That's right, show emotions. If she had only said it once then it would be ok but no, she says it at lest twice in less than 10 minutes.
two thumbs up
It ain't a bad film
if you happen to see it
then go ahead on
There's some entertaining bits here but really there aren't any surprises or anything that you didn't expect to see. The trailer shows us the Abomination. We know that Betty Ross is in it. We know that there will be smashing.
The only real entertaining bits of the film come from the fact that Marvel is trying to create a cohesive movie universe here. That means that for the comic book geeks every time a character gets a couple lines or especially if they get their first and last name mentioned you get to play "who is that?" There are no characters in the Hulk who get any significant screen time that aren't cameos by people like Lou Ferrigno, Stan Lee, and even the dead Bill Bixby gets some screen time when a clip from The Courtship of Eddie's Father is show. There are also, as one of the trailers spoils, appearances by Tony Stark, Samuel Sterns, and Dr. Leonard Samson among others.
Other than that, there isn't all that much to recommend The Incredible Hulk.
two thumbs up
very credible
just not incredibly good
an A for effort.
