jccalhoun’s blog

Death Tunnel

nobody@vox.com(jccalhoun) — Fri, 05 Sep 2008 10:23:55 -0400

This is "inspired" by a real life TB hospital in Kentucky. Because I grew up in southern Indiana, I'll always check out any film set in Indiana, Ohio or Kentucky. Sadly, this film is more style than it is substance.

I will admit that the people who made this are geniuses. They not only made a fictional movie at this closed hospital but they also made a documentary about the place called Spooked: The Ghosts of Waverly Hills Sanatorium. Two films for the price of one! That's good film making.

Death Tunnel is your basic story about a bunch of teenagers who go to the hospital and spooky stuff happens and they die. The problem is that it is full of flashbacks and flashforwards and is basically just padding. None of the characters get any real personality and none of the deaths are particularly interesting or even gory. It is almost as if they made the film and it was only 45 minutes long and they just filled i with random trippy scenes to fill it out.

There's also no real central bad guy. One of the grandfathers of one of the persons shows up but he isn't really central. There's no thing or person that the protagonists can attempt to fight or beat. Instead they are just trying to get out of the place which makes it pretty unfocused.

one thumb up

The setting is cool
because it is a real place
but the film is lame

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Species

nobody@vox.com(jccalhoun) — Sat, 16 Aug 2008 21:07:19 -0400

Species

I haven't seen this film in a few years - probably since it came out in fact - and I was surprised at how different the film was from what I remembered it. The film is about a woman who is a combination of human and alien dna who goes around wanting to have sex in order to reproduce. Only, that isn't really what it is.

In the beginning, she isn't a woman at all but a young girl. I had totally forgotten that. There's probably a good 20 minutes at the beginning of the film where she is a girl and then she turns into a full grown woman. Sil, as the woman is known, is also a lot more cunning than I remembered.

I'm sure part of my distorted memory is because of Natasha Henstridge and her boobs. Her turning into a monster is pretty much all I really remembered. Henstridge is pretty good and does a pretty good job of playing Sil as she learns and begins to come to grips with what she is.

A lot of the film is spent on the people who are chasing her who I had almost totally forgotten about. One element in particular is kind of odd. ForestWhitaker plays a guy who is said to be an empath but basically is psychic and can tell things about people and can lead them to Sil. Why they included this paranormal aspect I'm not entirely sure. It is an extra element that isn't really all that needed.

Species is pretty good but it is really crying out for a remake rather than the endless direct to video sequels it is getting. There is a lot of potential here but the pace is just kind of off and the specifics of the plot aren't quite what it seems like they should be. In some ways if plays out like a detective story with the team trying to find Sil and prevent her from mating. The film needs more action and it really needs better computer generated effects. There aren't many scenes with cgi in them but the ones that do have it stick out like a sore thumb.

three thumbs up

I would mate with her
as long as I lived through it
and no space babies

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X-Files: I Want to Believe

nobody@vox.com(jccalhoun) — Mon, 11 Aug 2008 22:39:14 -0400

The X-Files: I Want to Believe

I remember seeing the initial commercials for the X-Files television show back in the day. It sounded pretty cool and I was looking forward to it. When I found out that it was an ongoing series and not a mini=series I was a bit disappointed because I was hoping that the whole “aliens and supernatural stuff are real” would have a beginning middle and end. Of course it went on for 10 seasons or something.

I liked the series for the first few seasons. I eventually quit watching it though because, something I perhaps feared way back in the beginning, nothing ever seemed to happen. I remember watching an episode, getting pissed that nothing related to the core mythology actually got resolved only to see the teaser for next week which, the voiceover promised, would answer everything! Then I’d watch next week, get pissed that nothing related to the core mythology actually got resolved only to see the teaser for next week which promised to answer everything. After so many of those I got fed up and quit watching. It was also around that time that the film came out which promised to solve everything and then didn’t. Since then I pretty much avoided watching X-Files on reruns or on the Sci-Fi channel. Over the years the creator of X-Files has gone on to do… umm…. pretty much nothing? So when I heard that there was another X-Files movie I was less than excited and pretty much saw it as Chris Carter’s last gasp for money and a career.

With this in mind I was pretty happily surprised by X-Files: I Want to Believe. Now, don’t take that to mean that I liked it or thought it was great or anything. I think that part of me was happy that it had nothing to do with the series mythology (well there was some random, unnecessary mention of his sister which seemed included only to remind viewers that after a movie and ten series nothing had been resolved yet) because then I wouldn’t be irritated by that. However, because it has nothing to do with the core mythology it really begs the question, “Why does this exist?” and nothing in the film does anything to change that nagging suspicion in the back of my head that “Ol’ Chris needs the money!”

As I see it there are really 3 storylines going on here. 1)Mulder and Scully. 2)the murders. 3)the sick kid. I'm not sure that they work together all that well or that they are needed.

For me the Mulder Scully relationship stuff was the most interesting. It was nice seeing them deal with their relationship. However, Mulder is clearly a dick. He’s deep in his problem and seems totally oblivious to Scully’s problem.

The murders didn't need really need Mulder all that much. Once they found the body parts, or even the first arm it seems like they could have got some fingerprints and the lack of communication between people with cell phones and gps and such is a bit much. (I mean when they bust into the body part business and Mulder and Amanda Peet's character go running after the Russian guy they show that Xzibit's character is wearing an earpiece so why didn't Peet's character radio them for backup?) Oh and do female FBI agents commonly forget to button their shirts as much as Peet’s character did?

The sick kid was by far the weakest. Scully is doing stem cell surgery at a Catholic hospital? I don't know about that... And she reads some stuff online and the next day she is able to do the surgery??? I'm really not sure about that...

two thumbs up

Two heads are better?
Better go ask Rosey Grier
Why this film exists?

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Battlespace

nobody@vox.com(jccalhoun) — Sat, 02 Aug 2008 22:41:49 -0400

Battlespace

I've had this movie on my harddrive for a long time but never got around to watch it because it was encoded in some weird format that my modded X-Box wouldn't play. So I finally got around to watching it and it is really an odd little movie.

Basically, the movie is about this future war between the normal humans and these other humans who want to basically become Borgs. Honestly, I'm not sure what the big schism between the two is because our heroine has all these cybernetic powers just like the main bad guy. So what is it that makes her a regular human and him a wanna-be Borg?

Regardless, our heroine is trying to stop the bad guys from launching a super-weapon but crash lands in the middle of a desert and the bad guy is trying to find her. Now, the super-weapon is in the middle of their city so I'm not sure why they just don't put a lot more guards on the weapon. They try to say that the bad guy is in love with her but it doesn't really make a lot of sense.

The heroine treks through the desert in a Tomb Raider-ish outfit that consists of short shorts and a midriff showing shirt with lots of guns and other stuff. While the woman is attractive the outfit doesn't really do much for her. She isn't really hot and the camera work doesn't objectify her overly much. There's no ass shots or cleavage so I'm kind of wondering why they bothered making her wear that outfit.

The most irritating thing about the movie is that there is a near-constant voice-over. Every thing is narrated. Every thing is explained for us. Apparently the creators have never heard the saying, "Show don't tell" or perhaps they misheard it and thought it was "You can show if you want but make sure you tell every little thing." The film spends a lot of time going on and on about the background of the conflict (except for the whole cyber thing) that isn't really needed. There's this whole deal about Watchers that once came and made mankind behave and gave them warp drives but then disappeared and that the Earth was destroyed and that our heroine used to be addicted to a virtual reality videogame and that she sometimes hallucinates and the Gaia hypothesis is correct and a lot of other stuff.

Now, it turns out that there is a reason why some of this crap is in the movie. After the heroine's story is over, there is another 25 minutes with her daughter. Then we learn that it is the end of the universe and the Big Crunch is about to happen and that another universe will be born. Possibly, the new universe will be just like the old one and the history of the universe will repeat itself. So the daughter of the heroine will make some kind of attempt to pass on the knowledge of what happened in the attempt to prevent it from happening all over again.

Whew. That's a lot for one movie. And it really is. Way too much. It really felt like the guy who made the film was trying to create a universe to tell multiple stories in or something. It isn't all that effective. It is pretty weird. Had it just been the Heroine in the desert trying to stop the super-weapon it would have been pretty good.

two thumbs up

What a weird movie
It needs more pumps and the bumps
As Hammer would say...

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Fiend Without a Face

nobody@vox.com(jccalhoun) — Wed, 30 Jul 2008 13:44:59 -0400

Fiend without a Face

A good old fashioned scifi horror movie. What makes this interesting is that it is about a US military base in Canada and quite a bit of time is spent on how the Canadians and the American soldiers don't get along. I thought it was kind of interesting to see a film with US-Canadian relation as the back drop.

Other than that, it is fairly standard. The military base is using nuclear power to do experiments. Strange deaths start to happen and the locals blame the nuclear power. The military denies it. Turns out there is a reclusive scientist nearby who is known for researching paranormal phenomena. I wonder who is really the cause of the deaths...?

The "fiends" are pretty interesting in that they are brains with spinal columns that slither around and jump on people. I learned that if your nuclear reactor is going wild with no way to turn it off you can just blow it up without any danger radiation fallout or anything and that the best time to hook up with a woman is at her brother's funeral.

two thumbs up

Those Canadians
Why do they hate our freedom?
Let's "liberate" them

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My Little Eye

nobody@vox.com(jccalhoun) — Sun, 27 Jul 2008 22:24:43 -0400

My Little Eye

I've probably had this movie for more than a year and I just now got around to watching it. Well I guess you can't accuse me of seeing every movie as soon as I can...

The basic idea of the film is Big Brother meets a slasher film. Like big Brother a group of people are spending time confined to a house filled with cameras and are cut off from the outside world. In this film, however, they are forced to stay in the house for six months (technically they are told to be in the house by night so it isn't clear if they can leave during the day or even have any contact with outsiders during that time). If any of them leave then no one gets the money. Just a couple days before the six months are over people start to die.

Because it is supposed to be a house wired with cameras it gives the film makers lots of excuses for bad camera angles and Blair Witch style camera angles. It also give them the excuse not to have much of a story. The film starts off pretty good. It is a good set up but once the killing starts it stops making sense. Extra characters show up, people mention improbably reasons why someone might want to kill them, people have sex, and perhaps most importantly, there's never any reason given why it takes until just days before the "show" is supposed to be over for the killings to start.

one thumb up

Real World of Killers?
The Most Dangerous Game Show?
Murder Survivor?

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Hancock

nobody@vox.com(jccalhoun) — Fri, 25 Jul 2008 22:22:14 -0400

Hancock

Another superhero movie. This one wasn't based on a comic book though. I was interested in the concept but unfortunately it delves into conventionality at the end.

Basically, Will Smith is Superman who drinks and has a bad attitude. He is drunk all the time. He curses. He tries to stop crimes but usually ends up causing more damage than he prevents.

All that is good. That bit is entertaining. Then Smith's character meets Jason Bateman's character who tries to straighten him out and make him respectable and it goes lame. Then someone else with powers shows up and it gets really lame and conventional. Had the film ended with Hancock rejecting respectability and basically saying, "I'm all powerful. If I wanna be drunk all the time I'm going to" it would have been much more interesting.

There are some interesting part, however. His backstory isn't entirely filled out. We are given hints as to why he exists but it isn't spelled out for us which is kind of a good departure from most superhero origin films. There also isn't really a strong central villain either. There is a bad guy but he is more a mechanism for moving the plot forward rather than the whole point of the story as in nearly every other superhero film. This is also kind of nice to see. It is good to see a superhero story which isn't all about triumphing over evil.

three thumbs up

it's hard to hate him
should have gotten a real ass.
Busey is Hancock

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The Long Riders

nobody@vox.com(jccalhoun) — Mon, 21 Jul 2008 20:02:08 -0400

The Long Riders

This is yet another retelling of the James-Younger Gang but the gimmick here is that all the brothers are actually played by brothers. So we have Stacy and James Keach, David, Kieth, and Robert Carradine, Dennis and Randy Quaid, and Christopher and Nicholas Guest. As far as gimmicks go, it is pretty good. Unfortunately, as films go, it isn't very good.

the problem is, I don't really know what the point of it is. I don't get what it is trying to be about, who our central character is, or if there is any kind of message. Basically it just follows them as they fight one another, run from the law, fall in love, have kids, get old, and get killed. I really isn't all that interesting.

One thing I did like, however, is that unlike a lot of westerns this doesn't take place in the Southwest. The James Gang was from Missouri so (whether it actually was filmed in Missouri or not I don't know) in the film there are trees and grass and hills. There is green in a western and not all brown! Crazy!

two thumbs up

The film is pretty
but not pretty good at all.
There is good killing.

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The Dark Knight

nobody@vox.com(jccalhoun) — Sun, 20 Jul 2008 21:31:49 -0400

The Dark Knight

Some folks are saying this was too long. I didn't feel that way seeing it. There were some parts that seemed unneeded or that could have been handled in more concise ways but I didn't want it to be over or anything.

One of the things that I've hated about a lot of other superhero films and the pre-Bale Batman films was the multiple villains. Starting with Batman Returns it seemed like every superhero movie had to have multiple villains in it. Even Spider-Man 3 had Venom and Sandman for no real reason. While having Ra's al Ghul and the Scarecrow in Batman Begins worked fairly well I was worried when I saw pictures of Two-Face. I didn't think having the Joker and Two-Face in the same film was needed. I was really surprised when not only they but the Scarecrow appears and the film actually works. I liked it better than Batman Begins.

The reason why it works is that a) the Scarcrow is barely in it and b) the Joker is tied directly into Two-Face. The two of them just don't happen to show up. There is a reason why both Two-Face and the Joker are in this. In fact, there's a pretty good reason why all this stuff had to be in it. Now, as I said, some of it could have been done differently and more quickly, but it all had its reason to be there.

The storyline is the best part of the film. The direction, on the other hand, isn't all that great. I've seen Memento and Batman Begins and I've never been impressed with his actual direction. He is a good writer. he might get good performances from the actors. When it comes to cinematography and camera shots, however, he is wholly uninteresting. He has no visual flair. If a director with some real style and energy had been behind the camera this really would have been over the top. As it is the film is just better than average. The death of Heath Ledger casts a shadow over the film and he might be award worthy. It isn't worthy of any non-technical awards though.

three thumbs up

Better than Begins
It ain't no Iron Man, though
Nor is it The Hulk.

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WALL-E

nobody@vox.com(jccalhoun) — Thu, 17 Jul 2008 16:19:28 -0400

Wall-E

This is a Pixar film so it is certain to make gobs and gobs of money. It probably should too because it is loads better than pretty much any other animated movie out since the last Pixar film. There are some pretty weird messages in the film though.

The storyline of the film is that humans polluted the planet and left it while an army of little robots gathers up all the junk. At the start of the film only one of these WALL-E units seems to be left alive and it is our hero. One day a rocket lands and out comes a fancier new robot. This EVE robot and WALL-E bond. The rocket comes to take back EVE and WALL-E hitches along and encounters what has become of humanity.

One of the weirdest things about the film is that WALL-E is basically a STALK-R. EVE doesn't want all that much to do with him at first. He just keeps following her around and even when he follows her to the humans she doesn't even know about it. Of course in the end they fall in love which sends the message that you just need to keep bothering a woman until they give in no matter how much they tell you that they aren't interested in you.

There is also the matter of the depiction of the humans in the film. For one thing, there are live action people shown in historic video clips from the company that built the ships for escaping Earth. However, the humans that WALL-E meets are computer generated. I guess that they were trying to draw a line between the normal people of the past and the obese people of the films setting but I'm not at all sure that it works well.

The obese nature of the people is also kind of weird as well. I'm not really sure what the message about them is supposed to be. I guess that it is some sort of message about consumerism, mediated societies and sedentary lifestyles but the message is muddied by the fact that aside from obesity there really isn't much of a downside to their lifestyle. Everything on the ship is well run, and everyone seems happy, nice, and without negatives such as hate, violence, or other evils of society. If everyone is happy -- and there is even an off-handed rational why everyone seems obese because of the low gravity which indicates that maybe their physical condition might not even be all that unhealthy for them -- then what is the problem? The Earth is ruined and no amount of exercise or good health is gong to change that.

four thumbs up

Cute little robot
WALL-E should be called STALK-R
But no fatties please

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