Elves
This movie is blatant false advertising. This film is not about elves at all. It is about an elf. Singular. There is only one elf in this movie. On the other hand, however, it does have Dan Haggerty. That's right. Grizzly Adams vs. and evil Elf.
So there's this very 80s girl (although the film came out in 1990 it is super ultra 80s in look and style) who lives with her mean mom and kindly grandfather. She hates Christmas and so her and her friends do some sort of anti-Christmas ritual in the woods releasing an evil elf that looks like and for half the film is referred to as a troll. She works in a store and Grizzly Adams used to work there but was fired for some reason. The store Santa gets killed (by the elf) and they let Grizzly take over. The girls have a party with some boys in the store after hours and the elf kills some people. Then Grizzly Adams dons his detective hat and figures out what this elf thing is about.
This is the point when it turns really weird. See, it turns out that the Nazis were researching elves to use as some sort of ruthless killing machine/ultimate soldier. So it isn't just Grizzly Adams vs. an evil elf, but rather Grizzly Adams vs a Nazi elf! Now how much would you pay??? What if I told you that the elf was a guy in a rubber mask and that the rubber mask had its mouth permanently held open? Now what if I told you that there was also incest? Finally what if I told you that at one point they steal George Romero's line about "When there's no more room in Hell, the dead will walk the Earth" and replace "the dead" with elves? Seriously.
five thumbs up
only one elf here
but there is never enough
for Grizzly Adams
